The magic Dorito.

Even though it is a huge pain in the ass, I must admit my pride swells a little when I clog the toilet.

In the end, we are only the sum of our scars.

How about a little 38 Special?

I think I will "accidentally" spill my beer on anyone who mentions how well/poorly their fantasy football team is doing today. "Sorry dude, that was a fantasy beer-vendor accident in the fantasy stands."

420 Stoner Road

I asked "So, can I get your number?". She said, "Sixty-nine"......... Things are looking up..........or down, depending on your preference.